Good Word of the day...

"Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
~Hebrews 12:9-11

The past few months have been about constant self-revelation, acknowledgment and exposure of the sin in my life, the idols that rule my heart and the objects that I value more than my God. It is painful. I mean, make you physically ill, cry your eyes out, gut-wrenchingly painful. And over and over again I have said, "My dear God, does this have to hurt?" And over and over again He says, "Yes."

Why is that? I don't really know. But when I think about the weight of my own sin, the depths of it and how disgusting it can really be, the things that I choose over Love, who am I to question whether or not it should hurt? I deserve a lot worse than fleeting emotional pain. Yet, I sit for months recognizing the depravity of my own heart and then have the nerve to look at the sky and say, "Does this have to hurt."

Wow.

His response to me should be far more than just, "Yes." And some days I can imagine Him just holding His tongue...but even that I know isn't truth. He is constantly seeking to just wash me in grace and when I ask those questions He hears me as a father hears a small child, a blissfully ignorant, naive child who has yet to even begin understanding the world around her. But with the completion of each moment of discipline, despite any temper tantrums I throw, I get closer to the peaceful fruit of righteousness. He has begun a work in me that I couldn't stop now if I wanted to...and He will be faithful to complete it. And for that, I could never be more grateful.

Shut up...

Up to the Mountain

"I went up to the mountain
Because you asked me to
Up over the clouds
To where the sky was blue
I could see all around me
Everywhere
I could see all around me
Everywhere

Sometimes I feel like
I've never been nothing but tired
And I'll be walking
Till the day I expire
Sometimes I lay down
No more can I do
But then I go on again
Because you ask me to

Some days I look down
Afraid I will fall
And though the sun shines
I see nothing at all
Then I hear your sweet voice, oh
Oh, come and then go, come and then go
Telling me softly
You love me so

The peaceful valley
Just over the mountain
The peaceful valley
Few come to know
I may never get there
Ever in this lifetime
But sooner or later
It's there I will go
Sooner or later
It's there I will go"

Psalm 143:11

"For the sake of Your name, O Lord,
revive me.
In your righteousness bring my soul out
of trouble."

A little gem of a verse that God laid on my heart and I can almost feel it as it scurries down into the depths of my heart, breaking through walls and burying itself in the darkest place it can find. I can imagine it, this tiny little light as it just sits...and waits...and shines, knowing that in time it will melt away the hardness around it.

For now I will pray this prayer every day, knowing that every day of this life will be just a step on a journey, a constant battle for renewal, but there will be a day in which I will be made completely whole. I will be completely revived. The work will be done and my soul will be troubled no more. And constant rest and peace will be found in the presence of my King.

Blogging Fail

I realized lately that I've done a less than stellar job not only of blogging, but of blogging about what's going on in life in general. I do try to share many of the silly ridiculous happenings of my life, the things that "don't happen to normal people," but I miss a great opportunity to just share what God has done and continues to do in my life. While I firmly believe that all of those silly little things that make me laugh are from Him, He's done some much more powerful stuff and this would be one small way for me to share it. So with that, I will try to do better. And as I fall behind, please feel free to yell at me.

With that said, my grandmother told me today that I am a master of getting clothes on and off. Kinda awkward, moreso because she's absolutely correct. Years of quick backstage changes will get you that title I suppose.

Why I love my job

I just legitimately typed these words for our monthly events calendar:

May 8th
HypnoBro Presents: Have You Ever Been Hypbrotized?

...i'm just going to leave you with that.

"Your love wakes me up from the things I fear most..."

I know many people have already posted this video that was played at our church on Easter Sunday, but it truly is amazing, especially when you know some of the people in it. I've heard some of their stories. I've heard about the fires that they've walked through. And I've seen the change on the other side. God is bigger than all of it, whatever "it" is for you, God is bigger.


Cardboard Stories from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.