Well today it's snowing in Austin, Texas which elicits a reaction from people similar to if they saw a pig flying through the sky or Elvis walking downtown. It's a strange phenomenon for a girl from the Midwest, and in the two years I've been here it hasn't gotten any less strange.
People stop functioning. They lose their minds. Things shut down. No one wants to come to work because it's "cold." Everyone wants to stay off the roads. Today I was nearly one of those people because I've learned something really important in my time here...no one knows how to drive in this stuff either. I fear for my life not because the roads are slick and my car weighs as much as an empty soda can, but because these people go crazy and I don't trust them to know what to do if they fishtail.
So, my desire to go to the middle school to have lunch today was in question as I watched big, fluffy flakes come down fast 30 minutes before the lunch bell would ring. But, resolving to refuse to become one of "those" people, I headed out, no coat and no gloves...just to make a point. (Hopefully that point won't be that freezing temperatures will in fact give you pneumonia despite what part of the country you grew up in.)
If I thought the community in general goes crazy, it's nothing compared to a building full of little people still struggling to find the balance between wanting to be adults and discovering that their hearts still race at the sight of minor snowfall which could mean going home early. And in fact, I discovered many students had already left. Their parents had come to get them from school simply because it was snowing. Let me be clear that I by no means judge or have any thoughts on kids leaving school because it's snowing. But I'm perplexed. In 25 years I've never heard of such a thing.
Of course all my girls said, "JEN! It's snowing!" Yes...yes it is. "Isn't that exciting! Jen we NEVER get to see snow." I assured them that I would be happy to freeze a bag of cotton balls and litter their yard with it and they looked at me like I was insane. We all moved onto conversation about which kids had called their parents and who thought they might get to leave and whose requests had already been turned down.
Luckily for me the conversation shifted and ended up in places like this:
Claudia: Jen! Guess what! I'm going to Canada this summer!
Me: Why are you going to Canada?
Claudia: Hello! Why wouldn't you go to Canada?! I mean c'mon. It's like a cheap version of France.
Me: Brady when is Ben going to Barcelona?
Hannah: Ben is going to Barcelona?!
Brady: Yeah, for a big swim meet.
Hannah: What!? Does he have to shave his whole body?
Me: Wouldn't that be crazy to have to shave your entire body? Especially if you're a guy.
Claudia: My uncle is REALLY hairy.
*Blank stares*
Me: Is that the end of your story?
Claudia: Yes.
Early on in the lunch period the snow had died down to a sleet/rain mixture, the kind you can hear on the roof but can't really see if you're looking out the window. Sure enough though, just minutes before the bell rang to dismiss, the big, fluffy snowflakes came back...and the fire alarm went off.
Chaos ensued.
It was fairly clear that the fire alarm wasn't anything to really worry about, seemed just a simple mistake or possible prank and I think the kids picked up on that. But despite the fact that kids are to remain seated unless they're getting food, about 25% of them ran to the huge windows. Another 30% started cheering and yelling. About 25% seemed unaffected...and the remaining few looked around with that twinkle in their eye that shows they recognize that chaos is happening and they could get away with a lot before it dies down.
As I watched the adults in the room unsuccessfully attempt to get control of the situation, I couldn't help but smile.
In mere seconds, those kids had completely taken over that cafeteria, going where they wanted to go, making the noise they wanted to make, doing what they wanted to do and there was little any adult could do to actually stop it.
I couldn't help but wonder, if they realized the kind of power they have, and if they had a common desire to use it for good, what could these kids really do in this world. That power, that energy, that creativity and spark...just have to wonder.
The fire alarm stopped and the kids got tired of standing at the window. The noise died down and they started to get back to their seats. All in all the situation lasted about 60 seconds.
But I really had to wonder...
Showing posts with label Student Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Student Ministry. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Lessons in Student Ministry: Moments That Make My Heart Smile
Barbara: "Jen...how's your week going?"
Me: "Honestly, it's a little off. I've been feeling a little funky the past couple of days."
Claudia: "It's because you didn't see us last Thursday. You just need our hyperness to keep you smiling."
...I knew there was a reason. :)
Me: "Honestly, it's a little off. I've been feeling a little funky the past couple of days."
Claudia: "It's because you didn't see us last Thursday. You just need our hyperness to keep you smiling."
...I knew there was a reason. :)
Friday, February 5, 2010
Lessons in Student Ministry: Moments that make my heart smile
Barbara...one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted and precious middle schoolers I have ever met in my life. One of those kids who really just gets it. One of those kids that you can never imagine has done anything “wrong” in her life, but will be the first to tell you that she feels a drastic change in who she is since really beginning to get to know Jesus.
Last night one of our girls was talking about the sin in our lives and said, “We're just all so...dirty.” I said, “Well, can you ever be too dirty for God?”
Two of my girls looked at each other, looked at me, kind of shook their heads in the safe diagonal motion that could be perceived as a yes nod or a no shake.
And then Barbara said, “Well, I don't know if this is really the answer to your question. But, when I was the age that I really started not just knowing about Jesus, but actually knowing Him, I did a lot of needlepoint. One day I realized that when I did them, the back of the needlepoint was always knotty and just messy looking. But when I turned it over, I could see a picture. It didn't mean there weren't still a lot of mistakes. I still had knots where they didn't belong. Or I had mixed up colors. But I could still see the picture. I think that's kind of what life is like if we have God. There's still mistakes, or parts that aren't right, but we can see a bigger picture and things make more sense. But if we don't have God, it's like the back where it's just a mess. We can't be too dirty for Him. He makes things better.”
Moments that make my heart smile...
Last night one of our girls was talking about the sin in our lives and said, “We're just all so...dirty.” I said, “Well, can you ever be too dirty for God?”
Two of my girls looked at each other, looked at me, kind of shook their heads in the safe diagonal motion that could be perceived as a yes nod or a no shake.
And then Barbara said, “Well, I don't know if this is really the answer to your question. But, when I was the age that I really started not just knowing about Jesus, but actually knowing Him, I did a lot of needlepoint. One day I realized that when I did them, the back of the needlepoint was always knotty and just messy looking. But when I turned it over, I could see a picture. It didn't mean there weren't still a lot of mistakes. I still had knots where they didn't belong. Or I had mixed up colors. But I could still see the picture. I think that's kind of what life is like if we have God. There's still mistakes, or parts that aren't right, but we can see a bigger picture and things make more sense. But if we don't have God, it's like the back where it's just a mess. We can't be too dirty for Him. He makes things better.”
Moments that make my heart smile...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Lessons in Student Ministry: Part 2
It's okay to rest. On your own. And with your students.
It's so easy to fall into the, "But I'm the leader. I have to be 'on' all the time."
And that's a lie. One whose trap is to believe that our God NEEDS us to do His work rather than graciously inviting us in to experience that joy with Him.
A couple of weeks ago I was having a rough week. I don't even remember why. It was just, hard. I was tired and I was emotional and things just weren't quite going right. On my way over to have lunch with my girls, I got lost in worry and anxiety and frustration and all of that just became a cloud that shadowed any amount of good sense I normally have on my way over to the school. And the time that I normally spend in prayer became a time to figure out how I would fix whatever was going on in my life.
When I walked into the office, none of my mom's were sitting at the desk. No big deal. The secretaries had let me in numerous times. But that day they questioned me. They asked me why I was there. They asked if I had ever been there before. (Yes, every week since February). They looked at me like I had 4 heads. They wondered if they should let me in. And after the power of persuasion helped them to believe that I was only there to eat with the girls, not to lead a Bible study at the lunch table, they printed off my dorky visitor's pass and let me through.
It was nearly a breaking point for me.
I was...confused(not trusting). Angry(selfish). Frustrated beyond belief (self-absorbed). All this time and the secretaries still don't recognize me?
Gold star for Jen's attitude.
And then I realized that I might as well be walking into the cafeteria with fire shooting out of my eyeballs. And no middle school needs one more person walking in with a bad attitude.
But that realization didn't cause me to pick myself up by my boot straps and throw on my happy face. It made me go sit down at the table with my girls and just watch them, and laugh, and listen, and rest. Truth be told, it was all I could do.
My normal behavior is to bounce around, trying to get to know other kids, doing my best to remember names, who plays what sport, which kid has a hedgehog, who is whose twin brother, answering questions about who I am and why I'm there.
That day I was tired though and I just sat down and gave in to it. I sat down long enough that after I had asked one of the girls how her day was going and she had told me, I heard her say, "How's your day going Jen?"
It almost threw me off. Had none of them ever asked me that before? Or had I never heard them? Or never given them the opportunity to ask?
But when I'm honest with them about my day, it gives them the opportunity to love me. To be compassionate toward me. To pray for me.
I remembered a time last year when one of my girls somewhat jokingly said, "Jen, I'm pretty disappointed in you?"
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Well you always go hang out with other people during lunch. You never just hang out with us anymore."
I was quick to explain why it's important for me to get to know some of the other kids. Why it's important for all of us to get to know the people around us and how in order to spread the gospel, you've gotta be willing to get out of your comfort zone.
Right answer on paper. Maybe not the right answer in practice.
I don't know to be honest. But maybe laughing and saying, "You never just hang out with us anymore," actually means, "We need you too. We still have a lot to learn."
These girls know how to "do." I don't need to show them how to do. They do volleyball practice at 7:00 every morning. They do dance 5 nights a week. They do church twice a day on Sundays. They do band concerts and birthday parties and sleepovers and chores and homework and projects.
Maybe it's more important that I show them how to rest in God. Rest in His graciousness, His truth, His mercy and His love. And what that might look like is what used to be intentionally pursuing relationships with many different students, sometimes intentionally pursuing rest with the ones I already know.
To simply rest in Him, with them.
It's so easy to fall into the, "But I'm the leader. I have to be 'on' all the time."
And that's a lie. One whose trap is to believe that our God NEEDS us to do His work rather than graciously inviting us in to experience that joy with Him.
A couple of weeks ago I was having a rough week. I don't even remember why. It was just, hard. I was tired and I was emotional and things just weren't quite going right. On my way over to have lunch with my girls, I got lost in worry and anxiety and frustration and all of that just became a cloud that shadowed any amount of good sense I normally have on my way over to the school. And the time that I normally spend in prayer became a time to figure out how I would fix whatever was going on in my life.
When I walked into the office, none of my mom's were sitting at the desk. No big deal. The secretaries had let me in numerous times. But that day they questioned me. They asked me why I was there. They asked if I had ever been there before. (Yes, every week since February). They looked at me like I had 4 heads. They wondered if they should let me in. And after the power of persuasion helped them to believe that I was only there to eat with the girls, not to lead a Bible study at the lunch table, they printed off my dorky visitor's pass and let me through.
It was nearly a breaking point for me.
I was...confused(not trusting). Angry(selfish). Frustrated beyond belief (self-absorbed). All this time and the secretaries still don't recognize me?
Gold star for Jen's attitude.
And then I realized that I might as well be walking into the cafeteria with fire shooting out of my eyeballs. And no middle school needs one more person walking in with a bad attitude.
But that realization didn't cause me to pick myself up by my boot straps and throw on my happy face. It made me go sit down at the table with my girls and just watch them, and laugh, and listen, and rest. Truth be told, it was all I could do.
My normal behavior is to bounce around, trying to get to know other kids, doing my best to remember names, who plays what sport, which kid has a hedgehog, who is whose twin brother, answering questions about who I am and why I'm there.
That day I was tired though and I just sat down and gave in to it. I sat down long enough that after I had asked one of the girls how her day was going and she had told me, I heard her say, "How's your day going Jen?"
It almost threw me off. Had none of them ever asked me that before? Or had I never heard them? Or never given them the opportunity to ask?
But when I'm honest with them about my day, it gives them the opportunity to love me. To be compassionate toward me. To pray for me.
I remembered a time last year when one of my girls somewhat jokingly said, "Jen, I'm pretty disappointed in you?"
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Well you always go hang out with other people during lunch. You never just hang out with us anymore."
I was quick to explain why it's important for me to get to know some of the other kids. Why it's important for all of us to get to know the people around us and how in order to spread the gospel, you've gotta be willing to get out of your comfort zone.
Right answer on paper. Maybe not the right answer in practice.
I don't know to be honest. But maybe laughing and saying, "You never just hang out with us anymore," actually means, "We need you too. We still have a lot to learn."
These girls know how to "do." I don't need to show them how to do. They do volleyball practice at 7:00 every morning. They do dance 5 nights a week. They do church twice a day on Sundays. They do band concerts and birthday parties and sleepovers and chores and homework and projects.
Maybe it's more important that I show them how to rest in God. Rest in His graciousness, His truth, His mercy and His love. And what that might look like is what used to be intentionally pursuing relationships with many different students, sometimes intentionally pursuing rest with the ones I already know.
To simply rest in Him, with them.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Lessons in Student Ministry Part 1
Hold loosely. They're His.
If only this weren't a recurring theme of my entire life...but my inability to operate this way on my own makes itself abundantly clear when it comes to student ministry.
At the beginning of this year, around February, I started going to have lunch with my 6th grade girls at their school, once a week. When I had the idea, I was told that it could be pretty difficult to get in there if they knew I was a Bible study leader. But I wasn't going to lie about why I was there and I knew if God wanted me to be there, He'd make it happen. I walked in the first day, told them who I was, why I was there and they handed me a visitors pass and never asked any questions. In the weeks that would come after that, there was almost always a mom of one of my girls at the desk. God made a way for me every single time.
Early on in my time there I noticed a little tiny girl sitting by herself. I asked my girls who she was and they said her name was Skylar, that she got picked on a lot and that she wasn't very friendly to anyone...of course, none of us would be if we got picked on a lot and sat by ourselves in a middle school lunch room every day. One day I went to introduce myself to her and one of my girls, Claudia, decided to come with me. Skylar was a little scrappy, as many middle schoolers are, hair hanging in her face and baggy clothes, but when she looked up at me, she had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen on a kid, hidden by plain round-framed glasses.
I told her who I was and that Claudia and I just wanted to see how her day was going. She smiled this amazing, big, sparkly smile. As the weeks went on, Claudia and I would continue to go talk to her. She became more open, always only answering my questions, but with longer, more detailed answers. She would smile when I headed over, although I don't think she ever knew my name or really understood why I was there. But she never once gave me any indication that she wanted me to leave. My girls began to embrace her. Never to the point of recklessness. Never in a way that would compromise their social comfort zones. But in sweet little ways. At Bible study they would tell me if Skylar had a bad or good day. They would tell me about the kids who picked on her and we would laugh about how we were going to beat them up. (Yeah, I'm not the greatest leader in the world. But my girls will learn how to fight for justice. :-P) They just began to notice her. They would tell me if she wasn't at lunch one day and they usually knew where she was. And little by little they would care for her. When we found out it was Skylar's birthday I went and got a piece of cake and a card. All the girls signed it and they all wanted to take it to her.
When we handed her the card the first thing out of her mouth was, "Oh, that's not how you spell my name." I could tell it hurt my girls. They looked at me confused, not understanding why that would be her first thought, but they stayed long enough to see how big she smiled, to see how she read everything that every girl wrote, every signature that covered the inside of the card. But then when things got awkward, when they had said their "happy birthdays" and didn't know how to continue to interact, they took off, back to their normal seats. I was proud of them that day for the steps that they took and I talked to them about the need to continue loving people. How we can't just throw a gift at them and walk away. The girls were in the middle of a great learning process and the difference in Skylar was increasingly apparent.
As summer got closer I asked her what she was going to do during the break. I was broken-hearted to find out that her only plans were to play video games, all summer long, by herself. I asked her if she would be interested in coming to our Bible Study and she very excitedly said she would. She wrote down her phone number for me and I promised I would get in touch with her.
When our summer session kicked off I called her house. No one answered and no answering machine. It was the only number I had. And it did me no good. I never did get in touch with her this summer.
Today I was ecstatic to head back into that cafeteria for the beginning of my kids'
7th grade year. I walked into the office anxious, hoping that God had already paved the way for me to be allowed to continue to have a presence in that school. Sitting at the desk were two moms of two of my girls. I whispered up a quick thank you and as I pulled the backing off my dorky visitor pass, one of the moms said, "You know, they're a lot louder and a lot crazier in there this year." I smiled and said, "Perfect." She shook her head and said, "You're a saint," and walked away. If only I could ever explain how much fun this is for me and that it's not nearly the suffering people assume it is. :)
I headed into the lunch room and looked around. All my little guys had grown about a foot. A bunch of the girls were wearing eyeliner. My group had switched tables. And yes, it was louder and it was crazier. My girls didn't know I was planning on being there and it was fun to surprise them.
I asked Claudia where our friend was. She just looked down and said, "She hasn't been back to school. She transferred." All the other girls chimed in and said, "Yeah, Skylar doesn't go here anymore." Claudia said, "She would have been in my homeroom this year if she was here."
I didn't know how to respond in front of the girls. It quickly became so bittersweet to be there. I had a wonderful time and I can't wait to go next week, but I couldn't help but wonder why.
Why, when we had spent an entire semester pouring into this kid. Why when my girls were learning so much, but still had so much left to learn. Why when I know I could have gotten Skylar to Bible Study, somehow. Why when I wanted her to know someone had looked forward to seeing her again all summer long. Why when I wanted her to know that someone loves her. Why when my girls went back to school looking for her. Why when she would have been in Claudia's homeroom.
I don't understand. I can't help but wonder if the people He puts in her life will listen to Him. If they'll be paying attention when she crosses their path. If she's got a much longer, harder road ahead.
I don't know. But I know I have to trust Him with her. She is His child as much as anyone else is and I am not going to be able to do more for her than He is. My girls cannot do for her more than He is.
So I will continue to pray...
If only this weren't a recurring theme of my entire life...but my inability to operate this way on my own makes itself abundantly clear when it comes to student ministry.
At the beginning of this year, around February, I started going to have lunch with my 6th grade girls at their school, once a week. When I had the idea, I was told that it could be pretty difficult to get in there if they knew I was a Bible study leader. But I wasn't going to lie about why I was there and I knew if God wanted me to be there, He'd make it happen. I walked in the first day, told them who I was, why I was there and they handed me a visitors pass and never asked any questions. In the weeks that would come after that, there was almost always a mom of one of my girls at the desk. God made a way for me every single time.
Early on in my time there I noticed a little tiny girl sitting by herself. I asked my girls who she was and they said her name was Skylar, that she got picked on a lot and that she wasn't very friendly to anyone...of course, none of us would be if we got picked on a lot and sat by ourselves in a middle school lunch room every day. One day I went to introduce myself to her and one of my girls, Claudia, decided to come with me. Skylar was a little scrappy, as many middle schoolers are, hair hanging in her face and baggy clothes, but when she looked up at me, she had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen on a kid, hidden by plain round-framed glasses.
I told her who I was and that Claudia and I just wanted to see how her day was going. She smiled this amazing, big, sparkly smile. As the weeks went on, Claudia and I would continue to go talk to her. She became more open, always only answering my questions, but with longer, more detailed answers. She would smile when I headed over, although I don't think she ever knew my name or really understood why I was there. But she never once gave me any indication that she wanted me to leave. My girls began to embrace her. Never to the point of recklessness. Never in a way that would compromise their social comfort zones. But in sweet little ways. At Bible study they would tell me if Skylar had a bad or good day. They would tell me about the kids who picked on her and we would laugh about how we were going to beat them up. (Yeah, I'm not the greatest leader in the world. But my girls will learn how to fight for justice. :-P) They just began to notice her. They would tell me if she wasn't at lunch one day and they usually knew where she was. And little by little they would care for her. When we found out it was Skylar's birthday I went and got a piece of cake and a card. All the girls signed it and they all wanted to take it to her.
When we handed her the card the first thing out of her mouth was, "Oh, that's not how you spell my name." I could tell it hurt my girls. They looked at me confused, not understanding why that would be her first thought, but they stayed long enough to see how big she smiled, to see how she read everything that every girl wrote, every signature that covered the inside of the card. But then when things got awkward, when they had said their "happy birthdays" and didn't know how to continue to interact, they took off, back to their normal seats. I was proud of them that day for the steps that they took and I talked to them about the need to continue loving people. How we can't just throw a gift at them and walk away. The girls were in the middle of a great learning process and the difference in Skylar was increasingly apparent.
As summer got closer I asked her what she was going to do during the break. I was broken-hearted to find out that her only plans were to play video games, all summer long, by herself. I asked her if she would be interested in coming to our Bible Study and she very excitedly said she would. She wrote down her phone number for me and I promised I would get in touch with her.
When our summer session kicked off I called her house. No one answered and no answering machine. It was the only number I had. And it did me no good. I never did get in touch with her this summer.
Today I was ecstatic to head back into that cafeteria for the beginning of my kids'
7th grade year. I walked into the office anxious, hoping that God had already paved the way for me to be allowed to continue to have a presence in that school. Sitting at the desk were two moms of two of my girls. I whispered up a quick thank you and as I pulled the backing off my dorky visitor pass, one of the moms said, "You know, they're a lot louder and a lot crazier in there this year." I smiled and said, "Perfect." She shook her head and said, "You're a saint," and walked away. If only I could ever explain how much fun this is for me and that it's not nearly the suffering people assume it is. :)
I headed into the lunch room and looked around. All my little guys had grown about a foot. A bunch of the girls were wearing eyeliner. My group had switched tables. And yes, it was louder and it was crazier. My girls didn't know I was planning on being there and it was fun to surprise them.
I asked Claudia where our friend was. She just looked down and said, "She hasn't been back to school. She transferred." All the other girls chimed in and said, "Yeah, Skylar doesn't go here anymore." Claudia said, "She would have been in my homeroom this year if she was here."
I didn't know how to respond in front of the girls. It quickly became so bittersweet to be there. I had a wonderful time and I can't wait to go next week, but I couldn't help but wonder why.
Why, when we had spent an entire semester pouring into this kid. Why when my girls were learning so much, but still had so much left to learn. Why when I know I could have gotten Skylar to Bible Study, somehow. Why when I wanted her to know someone had looked forward to seeing her again all summer long. Why when I wanted her to know that someone loves her. Why when my girls went back to school looking for her. Why when she would have been in Claudia's homeroom.
I don't understand. I can't help but wonder if the people He puts in her life will listen to Him. If they'll be paying attention when she crosses their path. If she's got a much longer, harder road ahead.
I don't know. But I know I have to trust Him with her. She is His child as much as anyone else is and I am not going to be able to do more for her than He is. My girls cannot do for her more than He is.
So I will continue to pray...
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