Genesis 22

I recently read Genesis 22, the story of Abraham taking his son Isaac to be sacrificed. For some reason, this story really got to me and a number of things hit me. Obviously, Abraham's faithfulness is almost unbelievable. Lots of people have to suffer through the death of a child. But no one has to have so much strength and faith as to carry that out themselves. Add to that the questions Isaac may have asked as they climbed the mountain, the fear in his eyes as he was laid down on the altar and the judgment and criticism that would be facing Abraham when he came back down the mountain. How did he remain obedient with the thought of all that? Did he even look at Isaac as they walked...or could he not stop looking at him? Was he scared to death...or was he overwhelmed with peace as a blessing for his obedience. Did he ever stop walking or turn back...or was he so strong in his desire to please the Lord that he moved quickly?

God did clearly ask Abraham to do what he was on his way to do. Genesis 22:2 says, "He (God) said, 'Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you." This was a very clear instruction from the Lord, who acknowledged in that moment how much Abraham loved his only son. But Abraham clearly had an understanding that children belong to the Lord. They are a gift for a time, but ultimately still belong to Him. Confusing as the request may have been, and without any explanation, he headed up the mountain.

But here's where this story catches me. God stopped him. Abraham went to do just as he was clearly told and God stopped him. An angel appeared to Abraham just as he raised his arm, knife in hand, and urgently told him to stop what he was doing. It was a blatant, clear encounter. Abraham didn't have to question or wonder if he was just having an internal emotional struggle or some major discernment issues. God just stopped him.

After that, we find out that what God was calling Abraham to was simply a test of faith. It served no other purpose. It was a test to see what lengths Abraham would go to remain obedient.

I'll just be honest...I usually need more purpose than that. I need some greater outcome than to simply prove to God that I will remain faithful to His call. And maybe it's that I need a more blatant confirmation that God is pleased with what I've done if things didn't turn out the way I had anticipated. Because here's the thing, when God asks me to do something, and I am confident about that, I can be extremely single-minded in my pursuit of that. I will go great lengths to stay on that path which can land my heart in a place of legalism and self-righteousness, a place I don't need to be. If He turns my feet another direction mid-journey, a lot of things can happen. I end up not trusting the original call, convinced that I didn't do something right the first time. I end up ignoring His call to turn a different direction. I get stuck in frustration with Him, saying, "You told me to do this and that's what I'm going to do," but when it gets to that point it's because I have something to prove, either to myself, or to the people around me, or to Him.

But what would happen if I learned to gracefully follow His leading with every twist and every turn, every moment seeking direction. What if I were like Abraham and allowed myself to be stopped sometimes. What if I didn't care what anyone else said or thought, and was willing to say that simply to prove my obedience is worth it. So often I set out on the path that God puts me on and the expectation of my destination is shattered. So often I end up worrying that I think God is calling me to something, but He's not really. I'm just confused.

But here's the thing. If I head out in some direction, whether God tells me to or not, and He needs me to go a different direction, He will stop me. In big ways if need be. I don't have to rely on myself to figure that out, just like Abraham didn't have to rely on himself. He will put His mighty foot down and keep me from going any further.

And when I do hear His call my job is to go, knowing that my destination is in His hands and it may not look like what I think it does. And when those expectations fall apart, I will shift paths, regardless of how I feel or how I perceive others feel, because I can be confident the Holy Spirit inside of me.

This will be my prayer for a time. That I will stop merely seeking the call for a destination but that just for awhile, I won't look any further ahead than as far as my next footstep will take me.