Wednesday, August 13, 2008

For those of you who may have been afraid that I had not yet really experienced Texas living...

The other day I was standing near the back door, taking clothes out of the dryer when Kelley's mom starts beating on door yelling, "Open up! Open up!" I freaked out and couldn't possibly imagine what was wrong. It was early in the morning, the sun was shining and it seemed to be relatively peaceful outside. I dropped my clothes, opened the door and screamed when she pushed through carrying this...


That's right my friends, an armadillo, and about a 20 pound one at that. I took off running, yelling, "Why on earth did you bring that thing in here?!" She practically chased me through the house saying, "Take a picture! Hurry!" I was like, are you kidding me...

But, being the nice person that I am, I grabbed the camera, silently praised God for a good zoom and took this picture of her with her new friend.

Once she deemed this picture satisfactory she took our new friend, this prehistoric descendent of the oldest species of mammal still in existence and placed it in the backyard. She came back in sweating and out of breath and I was waiting with the obligatory, "What on earth was that all about..." question. She proceeded to describe in great detail about how a whole bunch of inbred dogs next door had found this poor thing and ganged up on him (hence the blood). When she realized what was going on, she went into wilderness superhero mode, cleared the front yard fence in one jump and started kicking dogs in the jaws until they gave up the furry-bellied dinosaur. She then went on to say, "If you ever pick up an armadillo make sure you get it toward the middle of the shell. They have really big teeth and claws because they dig up roots to eat."

I appreciate that people who don't know me very well think that for any reason under the sun I would pick up an armadillo.

Two days ago I got a letter from my beautiful friend Linda who is serving with the Peace Corps in Togo. Linda is a real Texan and periodically her correspondance serves to enlighten me with important "Living in Texas" tips. This letter, written weeks prior to the afore mentioned incident just happened to say, "Oh, by the way, don't touch armadillos. They carry leprosy."

Rest assured, all 3 of you who read this that I did not in any way touch that armadillo. But, if for some reason one of my limbs randomly falls off my body mid-conversation with someone, I suppose we'll all know why.

14 comments:

CharCof said...

Oh my...what a fun day in Uhland! I would agree that one shouldn't pick up an armadillo...the leprosy part I am not so sure about...

But none the less, if I have one in my yard one day...I will know who to call!

SueDub said...

Charlotte, be sure to call her if you have a snake problem. She's really good with snakes.

Jen said...

Mom...is that you??

SueDub said...

What other Sue would know what a snake handler you are?

Jen said...

uh...point taken...sassy pants.

CharCof said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CharCof said...

Thanks for the tip, Ms. Sue! I have actually heard the snake stories and I think they are hilarious! Jen probably speaks parseltoungue just like Harry Potter (and doesn't know it, just like Harry Potter).

Your daughter is a blessing - thanks for letting us have her for a while! I am trying my best to take good care of her ;-)

Sarah said...

I'm dying to know what comment got deleted. Who on earth would leave Jennifer Corzine an inappropriate comment that warrants deleting? crazy.

I certainly hope one of the snake stories you have told is the one when you were how old... 15 maybe? and rescued my mom and I from the GIGANTIC man eating rattlesnake that was chasing us around the living room. At least, that's how I remember it.

Leaving my first comment on your blog.... one step closer to joining the blogosphere myself. I'm going to take it slow...

Jen said...

sarah my friend, that's where the stories always start. i don't know how on earth i became a girl with "snake stories" when i, for my entire life, have been terrified of them. seriously, people sometimes have A snake story...not numerous snake stories...

and i'm guessing that based on the timing, charlotte left a comment and then deleted it and rewrote it. i didn't delete anything. :)

now you've got your feet in the water so you might as well just jump in my dear.

SueDub said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SueDub said...

Charlotte, see Sarah Kelley's post above for the true and unedited story of how Jen became a brilliant snake handler. I'm absolutely certain Sarah's memory of that situation is accurate.

I love the Ms. Sue....it brings back wonderful memories of my days as a "teacher" at our church Day Care. The kids had to call me Ms. Sue. They were so cute and wonderful and horrible. Always something. Now they're all in their 30s and wouldn't remember me at all. But I do remember them.

You have already proven you are taking good care of my kid. Thank you. I miss her so much but I know she's in capable hands right where she is.

Leona said...

I'm still trying to handle the armadillo story. Jen, you're finding more Texas experiences in these few months you've been here, than I have in the year I've been here. Or, they're finding you. Some of them, I'm happy to wait.

And, Sarah, Blogging can be just as addicting as Facebook.

Why exactly did she want a picture with it?

SueDub said...

Please tell Charlotte that I'm not able to post on her site because it's not public!

emily said...

Ok...seriously that story made my week. Thanks for sharing it live last night! It was great meeting you too and I look forward to the pogo stick pictures....I think. :) I look forward to being "blogger buddies" now! Glad you are in TX!