Monday's Fabulous Moment of the Day...

Today I went to Wolf Camera to get pictures developed and encountered one of Austin's finest...Kyle. I nearly kissed him by the end of our conversation for providing me with such a fantastic blog worthy moment, but that would probably have given a very wrong impression. I'll just transcribe our conversation as best I can remember it. If you watch The Office, think Dwight, not in looks, but in voice, mannerisms and actions. Unfortunately, writing this out can't begin to do it justice, but I'll try to let the conversation just speak for itself.

So, I walk in and sit down at the computer to decide which pictures to print. I've done this a million times. This guy walks right up and says,
"Hi. My name's Kyle and I'll be serving you today. Keep your arms and legs inside the aircraft and your tray table in the upright position."
Pause for a moment: I personally have never been in an aircraft where there was any place for my arms and legs to go except inside...but maybe he's been flying in something different.
Me: "Hi."
Kyle: "Do I know you?"
Me: "Um, I don't think so. I've been in here a lot though so maybe just from being here."
Kyle: "No, I've never seen you in here before."
Me: "Um...Alright then."
I begin to look at pictures to figure out which one to print. I pull one up of Ashlee, Katie and me at Ruby Tuesday.
Kyle: "What's that? Is that Halloween? Were you at a bar on 6th street?"
Me: "Um, noooo. I was at a restaurant with friends of mine."
Kyle: "Oh. What did you do for Halloween? Anything?"
Me: "I was a student ministry retreat."
Kyle: "Where?"
Me: "Camp Buckner."
Kyle: "Oh cool! Yeah, Camp Buckner!...I've never heard of it."
Those of you who know me well enough can imagine my facial expression at this point
Kyle: "So you work with students at a church?"
Me: "Yeah."
Kyle: "What church."
Me: "Austin Stone Community Church."
Kyle: "Austin's Stones and Community..."
Me: "No...Austin. Stone. Community. Church."
Kyle: "Are you all stoned all the time."
Me: "No."
Kyle: "So, where are all these pictures taken?"
Me: "St. Louis."
Kyle: "Oh St. Louis."
Me: "Yeah."
Kyle: "What is it they say about St. Louis again?"
Me: "Uh...I don't know."
Kyle: "St. Louis is the city that always gambles...or something..."
Me: "Really, I've never heard that."
Kyle: "Oh, if you get that picture like that you're going to chop those people's heads off. Can I crop it for you?"
Before I have time to respond, he has pushed the crop photo button and changed my picture size to wallet.
Kyle: "There, now their heads won't be chopped off."
Me: "Alright then."
Kyle: "So are you from St. Louis? What are you doing here? Did you go to school there?"
Me: "Yeah, I uh went to college there but I moved down here in June for a job."
Kyle: "What kind of job?"
Me: "I work for the city at a theatre."
Kyle: "Oh, you're an actress."
Me: "No, I'm in technical theatre."
Kyle: "So you don't act."
Me: "Well, I used to but now I just do technical theatre."
Kyle: "Hey, what's red and smells like blue paint?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Kyle: "What's red and smells like blue paint?"
Me: "Um, I have no idea."
Kyle: "Red paint. (chuckles to himself) That's supposed to be a funny joke. I guess it's not really that funny now that I think about it."
Me: "No...it's pretty funny..."
Right about now I pull out my phone to text Char and tell her that Monday's Fabulous Moment of the Day is taking place as I'm texting. Seemingly deterred by my preoccupation with something else, he goes and talks to another customer and I finish up my order. I walk up to the counter when I'm finished and sure enough, here he comes.
Kyle: "So why don't you move to Hollywood?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Kyle: "Why don't you move to Hollywood and become and actress?"
Me: "Um...because I don't really want to?"
Kyle: "You don't want to make lots of money and be famous?"
Me: "No."
Kyle: "Really?"
Me: "Really."
Kyle: "Oh. I want to move to Hollywood. I wanted to be an actor but then I realized I wasn't that good. Too much competition. So I decided if I couldn't be an actor than I'll just tell actors what to do. I'm going to be a director. Remember my name. You might see it on the front of a newspaper someday."
Me: "Okay. Good luck with that."
I hand him my credit card and he asks for my i.d. so I hand him my driver's license.
Kyle: "Good picture. Jen...so that's short for Jennifer?"
Me: "Yes."
Kyle: "Cool. Your pictures will be ready tomorrow at 11. Are you going to come back tomorrow?"
Me: "Well, I suppose so. I need to pick up my pictures."
Kyle: "Okay well don't be a stranger. I like our witty banter."
Me: "Right. Yes. Our witty banter. And like I said before, I'm in here a lot."
Kyle: "Oh yeah. Okay. Cool."