"For the sake of Your name, O Lord,
revive me.
In your righteousness bring my soul out
of trouble."
A little gem of a verse that God laid on my heart and I can almost feel it as it scurries down into the depths of my heart, breaking through walls and burying itself in the darkest place it can find. I can imagine it, this tiny little light as it just sits...and waits...and shines, knowing that in time it will melt away the hardness around it.
For now I will pray this prayer every day, knowing that every day of this life will be just a step on a journey, a constant battle for renewal, but there will be a day in which I will be made completely whole. I will be completely revived. The work will be done and my soul will be troubled no more. And constant rest and peace will be found in the presence of my King.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Blogging Fail
I realized lately that I've done a less than stellar job not only of blogging, but of blogging about what's going on in life in general. I do try to share many of the silly ridiculous happenings of my life, the things that "don't happen to normal people," but I miss a great opportunity to just share what God has done and continues to do in my life. While I firmly believe that all of those silly little things that make me laugh are from Him, He's done some much more powerful stuff and this would be one small way for me to share it. So with that, I will try to do better. And as I fall behind, please feel free to yell at me.
With that said, my grandmother told me today that I am a master of getting clothes on and off. Kinda awkward, moreso because she's absolutely correct. Years of quick backstage changes will get you that title I suppose.
With that said, my grandmother told me today that I am a master of getting clothes on and off. Kinda awkward, moreso because she's absolutely correct. Years of quick backstage changes will get you that title I suppose.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Why I love my job
I just legitimately typed these words for our monthly events calendar:
May 8th
HypnoBro Presents: Have You Ever Been Hypbrotized?
...i'm just going to leave you with that.
May 8th
HypnoBro Presents: Have You Ever Been Hypbrotized?
...i'm just going to leave you with that.
Friday, April 17, 2009
"Your love wakes me up from the things I fear most..."
I know many people have already posted this video that was played at our church on Easter Sunday, but it truly is amazing, especially when you know some of the people in it. I've heard some of their stories. I've heard about the fires that they've walked through. And I've seen the change on the other side. God is bigger than all of it, whatever "it" is for you, God is bigger.
Cardboard Stories from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.
Cardboard Stories from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Blast from the Past
I just found this. I wrote it almost exactly two years ago. In so many ways I've changed, grown. And in so many ways I'm in the exact same place.
March 26, 2007
Lately my days have been checkered with 80 degree weather, a cool breeze, new patio furniture, good coffee, melancholy music, flip flops, and 2 new Bibles that I dove into headfirst with the intent of finding answers and encouragement for the days ahead. Maybe it's the vitamin D, maybe the excessive caffeine intake, maybe the new playlists I've created on my iPod, but I have been feeling really hopeful the past few days. Not in a way that I'm any less scared, or any less sad to leave those I love and care about, but in a way that I feel like I'm sensing the bigger picture of how things can and will turn out.
I decided that now was a good time to get into the book of Job, a book that is incredibly devasting and overwhelmingly inspirational at the same time. I thought it was a book that I should read at a time in life when things seem to be going very well, when Job's suffering and circumstances would enlighten rather than dishearten me. I am far from disheartened and in reading it I have found much more enlightenment than I had anticipated.
Job was an incredible man of incredible faith and God put him to the test. God allowed Satan to shake the foundations of Job's faith in indescribable ways. Job's animals, workers and children were killed. He was struck with horrible sores and ulcers. He was so miserable and grief stricken that he cried out to God, mourning the day he was ever born. He questioned God and demanded answers.
"Why didn't I die at birth,
my first breath out of the womb my last?...
What's the point of life when it doesn't make sense,
when God blocks all the roads to meaning?"
In reading all of this, I remembered a time when I was very young in my faith. I wasn't raised in a church. When I started going, I remained respectful, but I was unconventional. I had no sense of tradition. I spoke about God as if He were my best friend. When I was upset with Him, I said it aloud, to the dismay of many older Christians. I clapped my hands loudly during worship. When I prayed I started out, "Hey God, how's your day been?" Over time, as I immersed myself more in the church setting, I came to believe that my faith was uncontrolled, immature. Comments were made. My excitement about going to church was railroaded when someone told me that the only reason I liked church was because I hadn't been going since I was a baby. I felt small, insignificant, and sorry that I must be an embarrassment to the God that I adored. So for a time, I learned how to shape up. And in that time, I lost my adoration for the God who loved me as I was and had created me in all my wonderful childishness. I began to take Him and my faith for granted the way so many others had. And I lost track of Him for a number of years. But I never stopped missing Him and the real relationship I had with Him.
In reading Job, I have found that God I lost so many years ago. The God who understands and often allows my suffering so that I may become a more trusting and faithful servant. I found the God who chuckled when my small self said, "Hey God, what's up?" I found the God, the father figure, who is sympathetic to my despair and forgiving when I cry out to Him for help and answers. Job fought with God, but He didn't turn his back on Him. And God responded accordingly, never dismissing Job as merely immature and faithless, but explaining to him,
"Do you know where Light comes from
and where Darkness lives
So you can take them by the hand
and lead them home when they get lost..."
He reminded Job that He is in total control. But He did not punish Job for questioning his circumstances, as so many children do. He did not cast Job out for grieving and despairing. To the contrary, he restored Job's blessings and then doubled them.
Reading Job has not only reminded me of the times that caused the change in my young heart, but has also made me yearn to get back to my unceremonious faith. I don't know that I ever completely can. The world has taken its toll on me and my circumstances have aged me, but I will do what I can to see God the way I did when I first found Him. As a father, a teacher, and a friend. My best friend.
March 26, 2007
Lately my days have been checkered with 80 degree weather, a cool breeze, new patio furniture, good coffee, melancholy music, flip flops, and 2 new Bibles that I dove into headfirst with the intent of finding answers and encouragement for the days ahead. Maybe it's the vitamin D, maybe the excessive caffeine intake, maybe the new playlists I've created on my iPod, but I have been feeling really hopeful the past few days. Not in a way that I'm any less scared, or any less sad to leave those I love and care about, but in a way that I feel like I'm sensing the bigger picture of how things can and will turn out.
I decided that now was a good time to get into the book of Job, a book that is incredibly devasting and overwhelmingly inspirational at the same time. I thought it was a book that I should read at a time in life when things seem to be going very well, when Job's suffering and circumstances would enlighten rather than dishearten me. I am far from disheartened and in reading it I have found much more enlightenment than I had anticipated.
Job was an incredible man of incredible faith and God put him to the test. God allowed Satan to shake the foundations of Job's faith in indescribable ways. Job's animals, workers and children were killed. He was struck with horrible sores and ulcers. He was so miserable and grief stricken that he cried out to God, mourning the day he was ever born. He questioned God and demanded answers.
"Why didn't I die at birth,
my first breath out of the womb my last?...
What's the point of life when it doesn't make sense,
when God blocks all the roads to meaning?"
In reading all of this, I remembered a time when I was very young in my faith. I wasn't raised in a church. When I started going, I remained respectful, but I was unconventional. I had no sense of tradition. I spoke about God as if He were my best friend. When I was upset with Him, I said it aloud, to the dismay of many older Christians. I clapped my hands loudly during worship. When I prayed I started out, "Hey God, how's your day been?" Over time, as I immersed myself more in the church setting, I came to believe that my faith was uncontrolled, immature. Comments were made. My excitement about going to church was railroaded when someone told me that the only reason I liked church was because I hadn't been going since I was a baby. I felt small, insignificant, and sorry that I must be an embarrassment to the God that I adored. So for a time, I learned how to shape up. And in that time, I lost my adoration for the God who loved me as I was and had created me in all my wonderful childishness. I began to take Him and my faith for granted the way so many others had. And I lost track of Him for a number of years. But I never stopped missing Him and the real relationship I had with Him.
In reading Job, I have found that God I lost so many years ago. The God who understands and often allows my suffering so that I may become a more trusting and faithful servant. I found the God who chuckled when my small self said, "Hey God, what's up?" I found the God, the father figure, who is sympathetic to my despair and forgiving when I cry out to Him for help and answers. Job fought with God, but He didn't turn his back on Him. And God responded accordingly, never dismissing Job as merely immature and faithless, but explaining to him,
"Do you know where Light comes from
and where Darkness lives
So you can take them by the hand
and lead them home when they get lost..."
He reminded Job that He is in total control. But He did not punish Job for questioning his circumstances, as so many children do. He did not cast Job out for grieving and despairing. To the contrary, he restored Job's blessings and then doubled them.
Reading Job has not only reminded me of the times that caused the change in my young heart, but has also made me yearn to get back to my unceremonious faith. I don't know that I ever completely can. The world has taken its toll on me and my circumstances have aged me, but I will do what I can to see God the way I did when I first found Him. As a father, a teacher, and a friend. My best friend.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday's Fabulous Moment (well, one of them)
My boss' office is about 10 steps from my desk. Why she ever goes through the trouble of calling me, I'll never know. But today, she did have a reason. She needed to talk to me about something that others didn't need to hear. Nothing big, nothing bad, nothing nearly as exciting as it sounds like it would be.
That's not the fabulous moment.
I had just finished having an allergy-induced sneezing fit when my phone rang. I picked it up and said, "Yes ma'am?" And she said, in a low, monontonous voice, "Hey Sneezy...are you alone?"
i. lost. my. business.
I laughed even harder when she said, "Gurl, what are you laughing at?"
I said, "Para, who starts a conversation with, 'Are you alone?' Especially, 'Hey Sneezy are you alone.'"
She was like, "Oh..."
And then, she lost her business. I love collective losses of business.
That's not the fabulous moment.
I had just finished having an allergy-induced sneezing fit when my phone rang. I picked it up and said, "Yes ma'am?" And she said, in a low, monontonous voice, "Hey Sneezy...are you alone?"
i. lost. my. business.
I laughed even harder when she said, "Gurl, what are you laughing at?"
I said, "Para, who starts a conversation with, 'Are you alone?' Especially, 'Hey Sneezy are you alone.'"
She was like, "Oh..."
And then, she lost her business. I love collective losses of business.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I don't want to go through the motions
"Our something to say winds up being the things we'd rather not talk about."
~Matthew West
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions
No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way
~Matthew West
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions
No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)